61 thoughts everyone has on a Monday
Mondays + being in January + the fact that Trump is President =
SO here are some thoughts that everyone has (or has had) on a Monday
1. NO
2. Please tell me it's Sunday.
3. Ohhh.
4. Why did I not go to sleep earlier?
5. Why can't I just sleep forever?
6. Woah. That took a dark turn.
7. Ok. I'm up. I'm sitting up. I'm reaching for my phone.
8. THE LIGHT. THE LIGHT.
9. Nothing is happening in the world. Absolutely nothing. That's why nobody should be up at this god forsaken hour.
10. In Sweden they only have to work six hour days.
11. *begins looking at flights to Sweden*
12. Ok. You're out of bed. That's a start, right?
13. Why don't I own any clothes?
14. Why didn't I do laundry yesterday?
15. Pyjamas are acceptable work attire, right? I mean, my office has a casual dress code...
16. How little make up can I put on without being asked if I'm ill?
17. *accidentally jabs mascara brush in eye*
18. My hair is just.. I don't even know what's going on there.
19. I don't even care anymore.
20. Please can it be a snow day. Do you get snow days at work?
21. I'm such a child.
22. Of course it's raining.
23. Of course I left my umbrella at my friend's house.
24. You know what. Enough with the negativity. It's a Monday. It's a new week. Let's start a fresh.
25. Of course the tube is delayed.
26. Yep. That's fine stranger-pressing-your-bum-into-mine-on-the-tube. Don't mind me. AT ALL.
27. What have I actually got to do today?
28. But first... COFFEE.
29. Since when did coffee get so expensive?
30. Coffee is a necessity ok. It's like tampons. It should be tax free.
31. Tampons more so. BUT STILL.
32. I love how I've left a to do list note for myself and yet I cannot read it.
33. Why do I have so many emails? Why are people sending me emails on a Sunday? It's God's day, god damn it.
34. Why is my coffee cup empty?
35. How many times will I have to ask people about their weekends today?
36. How many times will I have to explain what I did at the weekend? And also lie a little bit because all I did was lie on the sofa watching First Dates.
37. So, what was this meeting about again?
38. Why do other people always seem to be much perkier on a Monday than me? Is it because they get up at the crack of dawn to go for a light jog and then drink a slim fast spinach shake thing that looks like a liquidized Shrek?
39. I NEED MORE COFFEE.
40. Why doesn't my office have napping pods?
41. Is it lunch time yet?
42. Yep, desk neighbour. That was my stomach rumbling, don't worry. It's not a whale mating call.
43. I love whoever started the Monday motivation hashtag but I also hate them because it's making me realise everything I haven't achieved and will not achieve today.
44. Can you take tired leave?
45. There is literally no point me doing anything between 2pm and 4pm. All I do is stare at my screen aimlessly and try not to fall asleep.
46. I actually think I just fell asleep for a second...
47. I'm going to go and make tea and have a power nap in front of the microwaves.
48. *writes out all of the things was supposed to achieve today on tomorrow's to-do list*
49. Oh twitter.
50. It's nearly 5pm. It's like half an hour until 5pm. It's acceptable for me to go on ASOS now, right?
51. Stop looking over my shoulder desk neighbour. You're making me feel guilty.
52. Ugh. Why do I live so far away?
53. Can I just get a sugar daddy and never leave the house?
54. I know that's super anti-feminist but...
55. I'm so tired. Can I just have takeaway for dinner?
56. Which is better: takeaway or a ready meal?
57. Neither isn't an option.
58. So... it's 11pm and I'm still up.
59. What am I doing?! I have to be up in like four hours. Ok. Not quite that but...
60. Well at least it's Tuesday tomorrow... Not that it's ANY closer to the weekend but still...
61. IT'S BETTER THAN MONDAY.